The Refrigerator ~ Guest Entry

Today is such an exciting day for me! It’s the day the delivery guy will come to deliver my brand new refrigerator! I can’t wait. I am so anxious that I have promised to restrain myself and not bark, run, jump or otherwise be obnoxious and possibly scare him away!

Refrigerator, you say? A refrigerator for a …….dog…….? I certainly wasn’t expecting such a luxurious gift, and it is a bit unusual, I suppose, for a dog to have such a thing bestowed upon him, but my human bitch got very tired of cleaning up the mess I created each time I wanted water and went to HER refrigerator and hit the little button that turns it on.

So! My very wonderful and loving human bitch, after sitting me down and making a deal, said I would be getting one of my very own!

Before you go rushing out to get a new refrigerator for yourself, do remember that not everyone is capable of making the right decision about this major purchase! You have to be smart about this, and of course it helps to have a super-natural intelligence like my human bitch does. She is, after-all….ALL THAT and MORE! Well, I've never heard anyone claim she is "loved around the world or that she can crack nuts with her thighs", but WE love her! And she knows how to pick just the right stuff for just the right amount of money. I’m afraid most people would fail miserably in chosing the right refrigerator. So listen up while I give you a few very important pointers, after which you too may do a relatively good job of buying a refrigerator. Without my help, however, forget it!

We had some major considerations to take into account. First of all, one of the reasons I loved my human’s refrigerator was because it was an endless supply of water. Yes, of course the spigot was too high, but my human just happened to have a chair next to her refrigerator which made it possible for me to have my unlimited supply. Once she discovered that it was me who kept creating the puddles on the kitchen floor and that it really wasn’t a leak or pee, she moved the chair away to prevent my access. She swore, when she bought this new refrigerator that it would not have a water spigot. And neither should you! It’s a terrible waste of money because SHE said so (plus the fact she really can’t afford it, but don’t tell her I let you know that). There are better ways of handling the issue of easy access to water, and my human loves me enough to get me this! Did I mention that I LOVE my human bitch?

Is she awesome or what?

The other issue is delivery. If you buy the refrigerator in the wrong place, they will charge you way too much money for delivery, so my human bitch shopped around until she got just the right deal! She saved a lot of extra money (gas being as expensive as it is right now) by hiring Mr. X to go pick it up for her! They carefully measured the doors to make sure it would pass through without a hitch….a trick she learned when she bought the hot tub and had to tear the fence down to get it into the yard! And that reminds me of when she went shopping with her Miata (such a small little car) and had to make two trips back to the store to get everything! In any event, Mr. X was just the ticket! Awww. Sigh. Did I mention that I love my two-legged bitch?


This is the happiest day of my life. Well, almost. I was really happy the day my human bitch discovered Jumbones! Oh, and I was really happy yesterday when we went to the beach. And I was really happy the day before when my human bitch bought me a new stuffed toy! And I was really happy….well, let’s just say I’ve got a darn good life! So, yeah, this was ONE of the happiest days of my life. Ohhhhh. I love my human bitch!

Well, okay. It’s not just MY refrigerator. That human guy who lives with us gets to keep his stuff in there too, but I’m okay with that. Sort of. To all the two-legged bitches out there who put us first.......MUAH!

Slobbery puppy smootches,

Harvey